Losing the Race

I personally feel that there has been a significant change in feelings toward yoga since COVID-19 restrictions have begun to lift in certain areas of the country.

During quarantine, many people turned or returned to yoga as a way to ease their anxiety, improve their mindfulness, and overall just deal with the fear and uncertainty that the pandemic brought. Personally, I moved more toward a fitness practice of online kickboxing, resistance training, and believe it or not, "Hip-Hop Dance Fit"... I know. I never saw that coming! The unfamiliarity of the movements was exactly what I needed to shut my constantly overactive brain off for an hour a day, leaving me in a puddle of sweat and happy exhaustion, before resuming my COVID-induced anxiety. (Alright, I've dealt with anxiety as long as I can remember, but it was mildly under control before quarantine). I've always struggled to use yoga and meditation when I am at my highest point of anxiety, as I become even more hyper aware of my body, my breath, and my overactive mind. This can have the opposite of the intended effect of meditation and lead me toward a panic attack rather than peace of mind. But many new and returning yogis found peace in gentle movements, flowing breaths, and were comforted by connecting to their favorite teachers via Zoom, Facebook, or <insert your preferred online platform here>. As we've slowly crawled out of our caves and into the light with our masks securely over our noses, I'm afraid many have left that soft, deep, meaningful practice behind for something more aggressive and light.

And I get it. I obviously get it, as it's exactly what I turned to during quarantine. I couldn't deal with my brain during quarantine, so I exhausted my body. And yet now, the practices I have enjoyed teaching and taking the most have been more intentional, aware, and borderline "simple." When I commented on the loveliness of a recent class I took to a fellow colleague, he responded, "Yoga is perfect the way that it is. There's no need to reinvent the wheel." Which is exactly how I like my yoga. Whenever I attempt to teach a class that's a bit more complex I feel so inauthentic. Even if I feel as though it's what the students are looking for, it never feels nearly as genuine as my traditional teaching. During my 200 hour training, our instructors encouraged us to find our own style, and stick to it, even if it didn't fit the style of the studio or students sitting in front of us. Because eventually, you will find the students who are meant for you. Basically, "if you build it, they will come," right, Ray? I need to be reminded of this more often than not.

Since I've returned to the office and my hour-long commute, I've started listening to a wide range of podcasts, and one that has caught my attention is called "Yoga is Dead" with Tejal Patel and Jesal Parikh which is both controversial and, I believe, critical to the yoga industry. In episode 4, "Vinyasa Killed Yoga," they discuss the evolution of asana and how westernized the practice has become. In fact, many students like myself only began taking yoga classes for fitness purposes initially. I'd like to think that over time, all students will eventually find a deeper connection to their practice and recognize the multitude of benefits they receive, besides that yoga booty, but that will never be the case. Tejal and Jesal remind listeners that the asanas are just a small part of a complete yoga practice and that the goal of the asanas is to prepare the body for a seated meditation; sadasana, "accomplished pose." They discourage students from replacing their workout with yoga and instead encourage them to use what they learn in their yoga practice outside the studio during exercise and in their daily life. One of the instructors that trained me also reminded my classmates that yoga is NOT a complete practice and that we should be exercising our bodies in other ways as well. In fact, continuously practicing repetitive movements, especially as one gets fatigued, can cause injury, such as the shoulder issues many yogis feel from the constant chaturangas.

Basically, the path this blog post is headed is that, yes, I understand the desire for a physically challenging, sweaty, athletic yoga practice, but that should not replace the mindful, deep, meditative yoga practice that can enhance your personal, professional, and spiritual life... and even your daily exercise.

Breathing correctly, directing your focus, and the ability to listen to your body are all learned during yoga practice and can be applied and extremely helpful when exercising. I mean, have you ever tried to run a marathon without knowing how to do any of the aforementioned? I would not consider myself a "runner" by any means, but have often found myself in long distance events alongside my boyfriend and friends, assisting and encouraging them throughout each race, acting as a "guide." Because of my role, I never really paid attention to my own breath and body, as my focus was on the racer I was guiding. When they slowed down, I slowed down. They needed water, I also drank water. They cramped, I'd help stretch them out while sneaking in a forward fold before getting moving again. I had very few of my own negative thoughts to battle as I kept the vibe upbeat and motivational to encourage other racers. Last year I found myself in a different role, as I was registered to run the Detroit Half Marathon alongside my boyfriend as his guide. Last minute, he had to pull out of the race due to an injury, but we were already in Detroit and I had bib with my name on it. At 4:00am I got out of bed and headed out to the course that took me into Canada and back at sunrise. I started out too fast but eventually found a rhythm that I had never had before. In fact, I had no idea what my pace would be as I had never run such a distance alone. I was able to take what I have learned from my yoga practice (breath, focus, and body awareness) and use it outside of the studio during this specific race. The Detroit Half Marathon was basically a 2 1/2 hour long (physically and emotionally challenging) yoga practice for me! My knees and hips definitely don't want to practice like that everyday, but I was able to find a deeper understanding of why so many people find running therapeutic.

Detroit, Michigan- Oct 2019

In closing, I know we all have our own style of teaching and preferred way of exercising, but I truly believe we could all benefit from breathing deeply and slowing down, as yoga was never meant to be a race. And if it is, then it's a race that I'll happily lose.